my mystery guy :p

teringat kenangan masa geng2 dari johor datang hari tu..

seronok sangat sebenarnya..

dan bila tengok gambar2 dengan dorang..rindu pulak rasanya. wish to see you again..:)

aku dengan kawan2 aku baru je singgah johor semalam. ada la terjumpa beberapa orang yang kenal..tercari2 juga si dia sebenarnya..tapi, hmm..allah maha mengetahui..

my mystery guy..nama dia? aku tak tau.. umur dia? still a mystery.. nombor dia? haaa..i wish i knew..hahaha.

sengal terasa..tapi, entah lah. i've been trying on forgetting him. tak nak teringat orang yang jaaauuuh nun di sana. he's just my crush..adoiii, see. maybe i'll never learn..hehe

tadi tengok2 gambar lama..terjumpa satu gambar ni..tak teringat pula bila snap nye..tapi, gambar tu sweet sangat..teringat saat dorang semua da nak balik johor balik da..sebak pun ada. pengenalan walau sesingkat tu..rasa macam dah lama kenal..

esok nye tu..bila singgah jap kat dewan kuliah yang kitorang guna masa nak wat ice-breaking..macam ternampak kelibat2 diorang..hehe. sedih jugak la sebenarnya..wish to know you more..

hurmm..time has passed..dah berbulan jugak la sebenarnya..but, the memories will remain.

dear my mystery guy, will we meet again someday? hehe..insyaAllah..with allah's will :)

kurushikunatta boku wa...

soshite kizuita toki ni, (by the time i noticed)

kangaeteru no wa kimi no koto de, (i was thinking about you)

sorega sugoku hazukashikattari, (i thought that was really embarrassing)

sugoku iyadattari omoete, (and i really hate it)

sore wa boku ga kimochi wo tsutaerukoto ga kowai kara de, (it's because i'm afraid to convey my feelings)

atama de osaetsuketemo, (even if i suppress it in my head)

kokoro wa dou suru koto mo dekinakute, (i can't do anything about my heart)

autabi ni kimi ni satorarenai you ni, (to make you not able to notice when we meet)

itsumo to kawari nai you ni, (and to make it no different from the norm)

hanashiteru tsumori de yoyuu mo nakute, (is how i plan to talk to you, but couldn't)

kurushikunatta boku wa, (i'm suffering)

kimi ni uso wo tsuiteshimau dakedo, (i ended up lying to you, but)

mou sukoshi, (just a bit more)

kimi no kokoro ni chikazuitara, (if i can get closer to your heart)

mou sukoshi, (just a bit more)

ima kono toki gga kienai you ni, (try not to erase this moment)

douka kamisama boku ni yuuki wo kudasai, (please god, give me courage)

WhO aM i?

salam 2013 semua.. harap semua nya baik2 saja.. :)

tahun baru..niat yang baru..aim yang baru..

tapi,

dua tiga hari ni..aku terasa macam aku tak kenal siapa diri aku yang sebenarnya.

apa kemahuan aku sebenarnya?

entah kenapa, recently..aku terasa aku hidup dalam kepasrahan..pasrah tentang apa yang dah jadi sebelum2 ni..terlalu banyak sangat memendam perasaan..sampai kan..aku rasa kosong sangat.

lagi2 pasal kawan aku sorang tu..aku tau aku takkan suka dia da..aku tahu dalam hati dia, dia masih mengharapkan cinta lama dia. masih gigih mencuba dan mencuba..

dan setiap kali kitorang jumpa..she'll be the first topic to talk about.. even though i never ask for it.

entah la..sebelum jumpa dia malam tu..my heart raced..aku tak tahu apa yang aku takutkan sangat..apa yang aku segankan sangat. kenapa aku tak bley rasa kehadiran dia macam kawan2 aku yang lain. aku menggelabah..tak boleh duduk diam..tak boleh tahan untuk tak senyum..aku tak tahu kenapa aku happy sangat.

bila dengan dia..only he will do the talking..since he have a lot of things to talk too.. and when he talks about his ex-girl..how he's still asking her to get back to him..the moment his said that..entah..aku tak rasa apa2..because i know that would happen..nothing new to surprise me i guess.

walaupun dia tahu that girl taknak dah dekat dia..he's still setia menanti..and aku yang kat sebelah dia ni..masih setia mendengar. cuba memahami perasaan dia. at the same time, try to snap him back to reality. i know it's really hard for him to do that. but still, as long as he's satisfied with what he is doing..as long as he know what he really want..then, i'll just let him be. setia mendengar..setia disisi..

dan, sejak dari jumpa dia malam tu..(jumpa pun sebab kes minta tolong hantar balik rumah..alang2 dah satu taman..emergency habis dah tu..last resort..he's a good friend though..he really is a good friend..) i keep on smiling and i dont know why am i so happy about it.

why am i like this..aku tahu aku dah tak sayangkan dia dah....i know that he's not meant for me..but, why am i so happy about it..why does my heart raced like that...what i really want from him? who is he to me? and, who am i to him actually? and..who have the answer to all my question..? sigh~

help me...